Would You Rather: Movie Discussion
Feel But Don’t Wallow
“If you do not control the enemy, the enemy will control you”
— Miyamoto Musashi
I’ve been writing for a little over ten years now, and I’ve been alive for more than twice that. I’ve made many mistakes, I’ve hurt people along the journey of my life, and I’ve also hurt myself in the process.
Nothing worthwhile ever comes easily.
I’ve learned many lessons in my life because of my trials, not the least of which is that if you change the angle of your vision, the reality of what you see will change as well.
- I’ve felt regret for the things that I did and all the things that I chose not to do.
- I felt afraid at times.
- I may have not been alone, but I felt lonely.
- I’ve won some battles, but I’ve lost even more.
In suffering, your true self is uncovered, and you begin to understand that these seemingly-unpleasant challenges in your life are happening for you, not to you.
Every person is only as strong as the hardest thing they’ve overcome.
We are the sum of all of our choices, and although we may not be defined by our challenges, we are certainly defined by the decisions we make in the face of them.
You can become the hero or the villain, the warrior or the worrier, the sand or the storm.
For all of these years, no matter how hopeless or empty the future seemed, or how much will I lacked to keep on living, I chose to do something other than wallow in the misfortunes of life. I kept on persisting, I kept on writing, and I kept on getting back up after falling because I believed that writing was a primordial aspect of my existence, and I needed to be alive and living my life and having new experiences if I was to create new stories.
If you’re looking to feel happier about your life or become a more spiritual individual, I highly encourage you to learn Myamoto Musashi’s Ways of Life.
- Accept everything just the way it is.
- Do not seek pleasure for its own sake.
- Do not, under any circumstances, depend on a partial feeling.
- Think lightly of yourself and deeply of the world.
- Be detached from desire your whole life long.
- Do not regret what you have done.
- Never be jealous.
- Never let yourself be saddened by a separation.
- Resentment and complaint are appropriate neither for oneself nor others.
- You may abandon your own body but you must preserve your honor.
- Do not hold on to possessions you no longer need.
- In all things have no preferences.
Some of these are very hard to live up to, but I use many of them as basic guides to living a more grounded and humble existence.
That being said, I want to discuss the meaning behind one of my many favorite (psychological) horror films, Would You Rather.
At its core, Would You Rather is a child’s game. It tells you a lot about a person’s character and how they make decisions when they reach a fork in the road. Our main antagonist, Shepard Lambrick, owner of the Lambrick Foundation, knows this all too well and creates a more sinister version of the game.
The story begins with our protagonist, Iris, who moves back to her hometown to take care of Raleigh, her terminally ill brother. Financially struggling and unable to find a job, Raleigh’s doctor, Dr. Barden, informs Iris that he may have a way for them to cut costs for the much-needed bone marrow transplant. Eager to learn more, Iris makes dinner, tells her brother the good news, and goes off to the clinic to learn more.
Upon entering Dr. Barden’s office, she meets Shepard Lambrick.
Dr. Barden: Iris, Shepard Lambrick.
Shepard Lambrick: Iris, Dr. Barden’s told me much about you. So… your brother. He’s quite sick, correct?
Iris: You can help him?
Shepard: Well, let’s just say that my foundation has the ability to improve his situation. The Lambricks have funded the building of clinics all over the world. Haiti, uh, Afghanistan… schools, too. My family believes in creating opportunities for… Everyday people. People who just haven’t received a fair shake in life… People like you and your brother.
Iris: What do we have to do?
Shepard: I’m hosting a dinner party tomorrow night, and I’d like you to join us. There’ll be other guests there. Individuals that we’d also like to help; and the evening will culminate with a game, of sorts, and the winner… will be taken care of. Bills, school, housing, everything. When I say that we have the ability to dramatically improve your brother’s situation, Iris, it’s not just the money. I’m talking about. You win the game, and we can bypass any waiting list and locate a donor, immediately.
Conflicted yet intrigued, Iris politely interrupts Mr. Lambrick and asks if what he’s offering is legitimate. Dr. Barden comes forward and vouches for Shepard, explaining that his life and his clinic were saved by the Lambrick Foundation.
Long story short, she accepts the invitation.
As the dinner commences and the story evolves, we come to realize that the dinner party consists of a fatal version of the game, Would You Rather.
Questions like:
- Would you rather electrocute yourself, or stab the person beside you?
are bound to breed fear, anxiety, and panic. Participants have 15 seconds to make a decision or they are eliminated from the game by being killed.
As the game evolves, the choices they have to make become less and less favorable.
It’s all about decision-making in its rawest form. And there’s no better window into a person’s character than the decisions that they make and how they make them and how one applies rationale and ethics and reason while under duress. — Shepard Lambrick
This is what defines us. Not how much we want X or Y, but how much we are willing to fight for what we want. Wait too long to make a choice and someone else will come along and be happy to decide for us. The best route, like the truth, will set you free… but first, it will make you miserable.
Although the way in which people’s lives are uplifted in the hands of The Lambrick Foundation is rather cruel, Shepard is ultimately correct.
Your thoughts become your decisions, and those choices eventually end up becoming your destiny. There are no do-overs. You simply do what you can with what you have to work with.
I thought this movie, although brutal on the surface, was a fantastic perspective on how far people will go to get what they want and how they make decisions when they have no choice but to keep moving forward, irrespective of how scary the options seem.
After watching the movie, I kid you not, I never saw my depression the same way again.
Let’s dig into some more lessons.
Fear is the mind-killer.
They say that only through suffering does your true identity reveal itself. Well, I’ve been that guy. The one who chose fear over faith countless times. The one who felt pain but still never really changed.
But…
You know what they say about people who allow fear and resentment to conquer their hearts, right? A person who is afraid of something so much so that it prevents them from following their own dreams will never live life on their own terms. They will be lied to by their brain, and become a product of their circumstances instead of trying to control the narrative of their experience.
If you want a life different from the one you’re used to, it won’t come by making the same decisions you’re used to making.
Consider asking yourself the following questions when you’re ready to tackle whatever battle it is that you find yourself in.
- What do I wish to change, and why?
- What is easier about staying the way I am?
- What are two new things that I can try this week?
- Describe my most perfect life. What does the day-to-day look like?
- What is one good thing that my depression has taught me?
- Who am I? Explain in one sentence.
… and remember to nurture the relationships you have with others and yourself with:
- Acceptance
- Love
- Kindness
- Encouragement
The strongest steel is forged in the hottest fire.
Pain exists, I’m afraid, and you must experience it whether or not you want to. You’ll suffer, you’ll cry, you’ll laugh and you’ll yell, and most of the things that don’t ‘kill you’ will make you wish they had at that moment. But even in the darkest of situations, there’s hope. Those experiences possess more power than you can ever imagine.
I spent most of my life feeling empty and insecure. It’s a strange feeling, to feel as if you’ve been left behind by all the people of the world who don’t even know you’re alive. You stare in the mirror and see a stranger. You see a ghost of what once was, but no longer is. You see potential, but sense looming emptiness.
You can stare down into an uncertain future or at a distant past, with something to live for, or not. Something worth laughing about, loving, and fighting for, it’ll make your whole life worth enduring.
After all, you can only truly appreciate and understand something by comparison to its opposite.
At some point, I thought it was a prudent decision to stop asking so many questions and to just start taking action instead. Most of the details don’t even matter until you start moving because the only part of our lives we can ever understand even a little, is the past.
Comparison is the death of embracing where you are so that you can go where you were meant to be.
I learned a long time ago that you should always appreciate where you are, no matter how unbearable the situation may seem. I don’t ever mean to sound Pollyanna-ish by saying things like this, as I don’t consider myself to be an ‘everything is meant to be’ type of person, but it’s also kind of true. I have begun to see the importance and opportunity that resides in choosing today because all of my life experiences are necessary steps to helping me to arrive where I am at this very moment.
Fear isn’t real
I don’t think it is the fall that breaks people, but their fear of falling and what that fall may bring. In your inability to be adaptable to change, you welcome stagnation, death, and irrelevance.
One’s desire that harsh things should never happen to them is their greatest weakness.
If you had to fight for your survival and run from your opponents or play along as a means of escape so that you could conquer the battle later (Would You Rather), you’d literally have no time to think about how depressing things are in your life.
Yes, you may think about it and process your emotions, that’s crucial, but staying stagnant for too long will cause you to regress.
Be like a shark. The ones that stop swimming will immediately begin to drown.
The only way out is through, and the only thing that matters is that you live up to your potential, not anyone else’s.
We are the stories we tell ourselves about who we are and what is happening.
One of my favorite recovery stories goes like this:
An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.
“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil — he is anger, envy, doubt, anxiety, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.”
“The other is good — he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you — and inside every other person, too.” He continued.
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?” The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”
Don’t let past failures prevent future success or happiness.
“Yes, people made mistakes but that’s what humans do and I am under no obligation to hoard these errors and allow them to clutter my perception of the present.” — Russell Brand
All of us are living our lives driving down the road with our eyes fixed on the rearview mirror, which can only recount where we have been, not what currently exists or what may be ahead.
You cannot appreciate what you have if you’re constantly fearing the future or looking back at your past.
It’s an awkward moment of silence when you wake up and realize that you’re on standby while everyone else seems to have their life figured out. Then time passes, everyone around you starts to grow up, and when your break is slow to come, people naturally fall away or grow apart.
The goofiest, silliest person you knew in high school back when you were just a kid? Married with two kids and has a job he seems happy with. The best friend you had growing up? Happily married, no kids, but is always traveling with her wife, posting vacation pics frequently on Instagram.
It starts to feel like no one told you that you were playing a game of musical chairs. ‘Get a job, get married, move up in your career, retire, and spend the rest of your days happily with funds you have saved up.’ Soon enough, the song ends, and so does your time here on Earth.
Truth Bomb: Nothing seems impossible. Nothing is out of reach. Yet, the world gives us a bunch of rules and expects us to comply with them. There are a lot of lies, hidden agendas, unanswered questions, and a ton of... BS.
The beautiful thing about life is that a multitude of truths can co-exist. Ups and downs are great because although the sun may set and the reality of our struggles settle in, the sun also rises and new opportunities will present themselves. Fight through the night, for the sun will shine bright tomorrow. Hold onto hope irrespective of how hard today was because tomorrow is a clean slate.
No one but you can make the decision to move forward with your life, but your journey begins with one small step today, as an act of love. Reach out. Take a chance. Get hurt, even. Otherwise, you’ve got no stories to tell.
